Why piece?

Just 1 more minute on the floor of the kitchen -

I had been lying there sobbing. This wasn’t living. For weeks I had intermittent panic attacks and they were getting worse all the time. I picked myself up, walked up to the mirror, looked myself in the eyes and said out loud.

“This is it, Brian. This is rock bottom.”

I walked into the main area of my small apartment, sat on the couch and decided to meditate even though I wasn’t that consistent with it. Honestly, I’m still not. Right as the meditation was finishing and I was told to “open my eyes” - it came to me.

“If you’re having a hard time or between jobs or anything, go give some service. It’ll help.”

Thanks, Mom.

For the first time I had something that I knew that needed to happen and I didn’t care about recognition. I didn’t care about money. I didn’t care about anything other than helping those around me.

Many post it notes, hours, calls and video conferences later, here we are.

I’m still deciding how much info to put here, and if you have any requests, feel free to email below.

My name is Brian Keller Hill.

I have ADHD, Depression and Anxiety. For years, I was told I was Bi-Polar until I worked more with my medical professionals that helped me see that the indications of Bi-Polar was just misrepresented ADHD and Depression. I was able to get a neuropsychological evaluation which helped me understand my ADHD and some of my other symptoms. I am very grateful for the circumstances that allowed me to get my diagnosis at 35 years old. Mental illness treatment availability and awareness is very important to me.

I’ve dealt with feeling ashamed about my problems. I was “annoying” and acted strange in public. Even just sneezing has been something that makes me uncomfortable, not because of the sneeze, but because of the reactions of others. I still act strange, it’s a normal thing for me. I have lived with shame and embarrassment for so long that I want to help others not feel these feelings that have torn me down and let others dictate my life.

I am not my illness. Nor am I broken or someone not worth love, acceptance and kindness. No matter what you struggle with - neither are you.

I am so grateful to those that have helped and continue to help me make this cause a reality.